This broke my heart
theyre so canon its disgusting that theyre not canon: a novel
imagine how radical being a pet fish is like youre just swimming around and suddenly it starts raining food
do you sometimes wonder why you have weird friends but then you snap and realize that youre as weird as them
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
Don’t roll joints, roll up to church. Praise The Lord!
how to kiss a boy
- grab his waist
- slip your hand in his pocket
- steal his wallet
- dont even kiss him
- just run
Read this way out of context.
Kristen is tired of shitty girl power movies
#people say she doesn’t show emotions#but who cares about emotions#she shows herself#shouldn’t that be good enough for anyone?
Me walking into school
Me at work
Me when I’m pretending to be a 9 year old girl when I’m actually 33 so that you would adopt me so I could sleep with your husband and murder your children.
I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired
i aspire to great things in life
According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.
So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.
actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do
Actual 3-year-old Tony Stark, everyone.
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THIS LAST NIGHT AND COULDN’T FIND IT.
"you’re too old to go trick or treating"